*sung to the tune of itchy and scratchy*
~binge...and starve, and binge and purge and starve! binge binge binge, purge starve starrrrrvvve! the anorexia bullemia shoooooooow.~

you know, i wouldnt mind eating more if i could put on the breaks...im wondering if its not a starvation mode thing...you know, how you should never give a man dieing of thirst in the dessert (how ever its spelled) a cantine, but rather, allow him to have small ammounts at a time...

anyway, i found today that i was down around 120...ive passed out a few more times..and yesterday while i was in the middle of doing something i felt like someone had jammed their hand into my rib cage and  squeazed the fuck out of my heart...and then decided "you know...enough is enough, either finish starving, or start eating again, cause its been atleast 4 months sense youve done anything just for enjoyment"...and i mean that...anything...yes...even that...

so...ive decided...it doesnt seem to matter to anyone else, so i might as well just eat...if i get fat, i get fat, who gives a damn, i starved it off once, i can do it again easily enough...so fuck it, Hel, maybe tomorrow ill go to the dublin farmers market, if you can fucking call it that, and grab a deep fried snickers...ive been hearing about them...and wondering what the attraction is...im imagineing they batter it in donut dough so itll be kinda like a donut with nuts caramel chocolate and nougat filling...