Echo ([info]distant_wisp) wrote,
@ 2009-05-28 21:56:00
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ugh, in the news of my life...
first things first...im at moms again..because greg smashed a glass table and cut the fuck out of him self...dont worry...hes not seriously injured, just bled all over the house...more on this later...

i have a new cellphone and service..verizon...okay, seriously, wtf is their excuse for this? "sure, you can use an mp3 as a ringtone! you just have to..have bought it from us *sadistic bastard cackleing* this is shit...but the phone is otherwise awesome...i need to show it off some time...


third, and then its bed time...

mom has basically given me an ultimatem, either start eating more or shes going to start making me...im unsure how to feel about this...i dont want to eat more, i dont want to gain back weight, and also theres the obvious fact im actually TRYING to be self distructive and kill my self, alternatively it kinda brings up the munchousen syndrome thing ive been concidering for a while..ie "am i doing this because i honestly want to die? or am i doing it because i want attention?"...i think its the former, but atleast i admit the fact that i might just be emowhoreing...sigh...either way...i do mean this...i fucking hate my life...



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[info]galleon_lore
2009-05-29 11:11 am UTC (link)
Make her a deal...you'll start eating more if she divorces the jackass.

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[info]distant_wisp
2009-05-29 01:47 pm UTC (link)
mmm, an answer to this i already know... ".......mmm, well, when you put it like that...would you rather be buried here or in jacksonville?"

Seriously though, I wouldnt mind eating more..i wouldnt, except for 2 things, 1, as you have seen, when i actually do let my self eat, i tend to eat big...really big...which leads to me feeling ashamed and starving my self more...and as it is, im down to like 850 to 900 kc a day, maybe sometimes 1100, thats a total for 3 meals and 2 snacks...

then theres number 2, the fact that i seriously dont see much point in going on with this life, it has no draw to me anymore, i never get to see my friends anymore, even when i am in town, i dont watch any tv to speak of, or any movies, all of my time is just spent going through the motions..

and besides.. im finally down under 130 lbs, thats made up of 66% water, and less then 8% body fat, as well as 6 to 8 lbs bone mass, judging by that, my insanely low body temperature and blood preasure, and this ache ive been getting in my ribs (left quadrant) and shoulder, it cant possibly take much longer...you would think she would just get a clue and take the oppurtunity to get some really good life insurance on me and cash in...

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